We seem to get into a pattern in life and tend to think that things will always be the same. Our health is a good example, the longer you have good health the more you think that you will make it through life with little or no major medical problems and die of old of age in your sleep. I'm a good example of that and of all people I should have known better!
When I was born my mother was 42 years old and she died when I was 44 years old. My memory goes back to when I was four and she was having health problems even then. She had a bone disease that was progressive and by the time she was 60 she was getting crippled up. I never knew the medical names of her problems but they continued and went beyond the bone disease. At age 60, her problems continuing we took her to the hospital once again. She walked into the St. Joseph Hospital in Tacoma, Washington and several days later we took her out of there after having surgery near her spinal cord, this time she couldn't walk! She had a large cyst that had to be removed, but the roots of the cyst were entwined in the spinal cord and all the doctors could do was drain it and send her home.
However, something was accidentally cut during surgery and she never walked again! I' m not complaining mind you, what happened is history, I'm just pointing out that after 44 years I should know that good health isn't always forever! On the other hand I went past the 44 years and even into my mid fifties and still I was a reasonably healthy fellow. I guess it's easy to see how I may have overlooked my mom's health history, after all I was still working ever day, playing hard and basically not giving my long term health a thought. I was big and strong and I felt like I could do anything and generally did too!
I'm probably giving the impression that I didn't go to doctors but that isn't so. I would go in and have a check up ever so often, certainly not annually. After all, there was nothing wrong with me! But after getting into my 50's my doctor pointed out that an annual check up was necessary because things could start happening within my body with little or no symptoms and if there was something maybe it could be detected before it caused too much trouble. This was reasonable so the checkups became annual!
In the late summer of 1993, I was waiting for the results of my check up that I had a few days before. The doctors phone call came in the early evening and he went through the all the things that had been tested and everything seemed okay. But there was one thing that needed further testing. It seemed the chest x-ray that I had detected a possible Thoracic aneurysm. Instantly I got weak a feeling and I probably couldn't have gotten up and walked at that moment, I suppose I was also in shock. What my doctor didn't know was that one of my brothers died of a ruptured Thoracic aneurysm just four months before and my older brother had an aorta aneurysm repaired in his stomach about six months before that. If that wasn't enough I had an uncle that died of a ruptured aneurysm years before that. That is what really set me off. If it hadn't been for this family history I probably wouldn't even have known what an aneurysm was. It was then that I told him of my family history regarding cardiovascular problems. He told me to not get excited that he would help me through anything that came up and that the first order of business would be a Cat Scan that would confirm whether or not I had an aneurysm.
The Cat Scan confirmed the aneurysm and that it was about 2 inches in diameter compared to a normal of one inch in diameter aorta. The doctor now told me that they went back into my records and they show that I have had this aneurysm at least as far back as 1987. The next x-ray before that was 1978 and I didn't have it then. So, obviously I got it sometimes between those two x-rays. This was scary in itself knowing that I had this thing at least for at least six years and considering my hard work and hard play, life style this could have been a very serious situation. But the real scary thing was that there was never any hint that this rupturing aorta was growing in my chest. But there was good news and bad news. The good news was that there hadn't been any growth from 1987 until the current x-ray. This could mean that it had healed itself. The bad news was the location of it puts it in a very risky place because it is between the spinal cord and the heart. The risks wasn't discussed because it was stable and had been for six years so surgery wasn't in the immediate future. The plan was to monitor it every six months with an x-ray or a Cat Scan and with some luck maybe I never would need surgery.
I have to admit that this whole thing came as such a shock that I had trouble thinking of anything else for quite awhile. I felt that any move I made would cause something to happen to this damn thing. I felt very vulnerable, scared, it even made me feel less capable. But the x-rays came and went with the same results and after nearly five years I really felt like the aneurysm actually had healed itself and if I continued to live my slower life style I will likely be okay! WRONG!!!
Early October 1998: Once again I find myself waiting for my test results from my annual check-up. The phone rings and its Dr. Shima. He tells me that everything else checked out okay but I need to go in for a Cat Scan because the aneurysm seems to be larger. The Cat Scan confirmed what the x-ray showed and here I am again, back five years ago when I first found out about this thing! I really felt fragile and more vulnerable than I did the first time. Now it is 3 inches in diameter and it doesn't look like I'm going to escape surgery this time! This thing had grown an inch within the past year, I was scared!
Dr. Shima made an appointment for me with a Cardiologist in Seattle on October 15 and that day started a whirl wind of activity that didn't end until October 23. Helen and I left for Seattle early and we met with the Cardiologist Dr. Albro late that afternoon. After looking at the Cat Scan and x-rays he said that surgery was needed and the sooner the better. His secretary made an appointment to meet with the surgeon for the next day. She made arrangements for us to stay at the Providence Inn, a room in a wing of the hospital for these type of situations.
The next afternoon we met with Dr. Manhas, a Cardiovascular surgeon. His examination was brief. All he had to do was look at the Cat Scan and check my blood pressure and lungs. He said that surgery would be early Monday morning. He then took us into his o ffice and gave us lot of information, like procedure, length of the surgery and of course the risks. He explained that all surgeries have risks but this one had the additional risk of paralysis. It could range from zero to total. Well, I was doing pretty good up to now, but that news wasn't what I needed to hear. Remember, my mother went into the hospital at age 60 and never walked again. We both will have both undergone surgeries involving the spinal cord.
Needless to say the next two or three days are going to be very stressful to say the least! The doctor expected us to stay there for the week end and he clearly didn't like the idea that we were going to make a 400 mile round trip before surgery. We told him we had things that had to be done and we wasn't prepared for everything that was happening so fast. He then gave me a prescription for Valium to relax me and we came home.
The trip home from Seattle involved some discussions with a lot of "what ifs". The bottom line was that we just couldn't count on the outcome of this surgery as having a good ending. Because of this there were several times where I would tell Helen that if I didn't make it that I think it would be wise to do "so and so".. I can't speak for Helen, of course, but it seemed that we both knew that the outcome could be bad but neither of us was crying about it. I guess we just wanted to get it over with! Neither of us expressed the concern that the aneurysm could rupture before the surgery on Monday. Very possibly what helped us was all the phone calls and e-mails from family and friends that told us that they would be praying for us and that their thoughts would be with us. We both seemed relaxed regardless what may be bottled up inside. I don 't know but maybe we were being strong for one another! I know this much the best thing that happened to me was Helen, she was there the whole time and it meant everything to me. There also wasn't any conversations about idle nothings like where are we going on our next trip or going fishing or maybe visiting the grand kids. The whole focus was getting this surgery behind us as soon as possible! If I didn't come out of this okay all of the normally important issues simply didn't mean a thing!
We left for Seattle on Sunday morning. We stopped in Silverdale where we met my son's girlfriend Kari. The plan was that she would drive us to Seattle and bring the car back to their place. Then when Helen decided to go home she would catch a ferry to the other side of Puget Sound where they would bring the car to her. It didn't turn out that way but it was the original plan. We arrived Providence Hospital at 4:00 p.m. where we checked in and just lounged around the rest of the evening. We both still seemed relaxed, we just wanted this to be over! 6:00 a.m. Monday morning found us at the cardiac surgery admission desk. After the customary wait they spent the next hour getting me ready for surgery. Helen was with me at least until I met with the two fellows that put the IV's in. One in each arm. I remarked that I had never had one put in each arm before, why? He said something, I don't remember what he said and the next thing I know I was hearing voices. "Where in hell am I," I was thinking. Then I heard another voice. "Who is that?" I wondered, I didn't recognize the voice or understand what was said so I tried to tell them I was awake. Nothing came out, "My God I can't talk either!" Now the voices are more clear and one of those voices sounded like Helen so I decided that I was alive, but I can"t talk, in fact I can"t see either. "What in hell is going on here," I thought. Then someone said "I think he is coming around, have you noticed any movement?" A voice said" "No not yet!" About that time I started to wiggle my fingers and toes in order to let them know that I was okay. Someone said, "he's moving he's moving", boy did that sound good. Then I felt someone holding my hand and I knew that it was Helen, what a great feeling! My vision started coming around but I still couldn't talk but the nurse explained to me that I was in CICU (Cardiac Intensive Care Unit) and that I had tubes stuck in me everywhere including my throat and that I wouldn't be able to talk until they came out. Boy was she right, there were tubes in every opening I had except my ears and butt not to mention the three shunts, one in my neck and two in my side. I must have been a sight. But hey, I didn't care, I was alive and I could move my fingers and toes. What a great feeling! All of the prayers helped the surgeon do his job!
The tubes started coming out in a few hours and by the next day they removed everything, including the shunts. I was walking the next afternoon unassisted. I stayed in CICU for two days and then one more in a private room. The fourth day we stayed in Helen's room in the Providence Inn, on the fifth morning Karrie picked us up and we went home.
A little antidote here: My cousin and his wife, Ken and Carolyn Holland drove down to be with Helen through the surgery. They were sitting in this room waiting for me to come up to my room. A nurse came and said that they were bringing me up right away. A few minutes later the elevator door open and they wheeled out this black fellow. My cousin turned to Helen and said, "You know Bill has changed a lot since I saw him last!" It has been four weeks since the surgery and I'm recovering slowly but steadily. Sure I still hurt but I don't care, I'm alive and I can walk and I can feel, what a wonderful feeling, and that is part of what we all take for granted! I really believe all the prayers and love helped me and for that I'm grateful, but I'm also grateful for Helen staying with me for the entire stay in Seattle. She made a tough situation bearable and it continued after we got home, she is a good nurse and a good wife! I wouldn't wish anyone having to go through something like this alone!
