Bill & Helen Wandke's Home Page

This story really happened, in fact it began just this past Thursday! You see I have been a house husband the past few years while my wife, Helen, works. One of my many chores, of course, is making dinner and Thursday evening was no exception and the menu called for left over soup that I had made a couple of days earlier. So for a treat I made a batch of baking powder biscuits, I even went to the trouble of rolling them out rather than the drop kind.

When Helen got home and we had our soup and biscuits while exchanging a little small talk about the days events. I then cleaned the kitchen up and wrapped the four remaining biscuits in plastic wrap and put them on the counter between the refrigerator and stove. We finished the evening watching TV and checking e-mail on the computer and went to bed at ten P.M.

Now its Friday morning and Helen was up at five fifteen and was off to work before seven while the dog and I were still sleeping. At 8:00 A.M. I got up with the intention of having a couple of the left over biscuits with some honey and to my surprise they were all gone. My first thought was that she had put them away because there was no way she would eat all four of them, but after looking everywhere with no success I decided that she ate two and took the other two for her lunch.

When Helen got home that evening I brought up the biscuit thing and she told me that she had cereal for breakfast and never even thought about the biscuits. I couldn't believe it, she ate those four biscuits and won't even admit it. Now Helen is probably the most honest person I have ever known and doesn't lie about anything so why is she doing this, its just not like her. So when she told me that she didn't know anything about them I just kind of looked at her funny and thought to myself that I had better start watching her a little more closely. Anyway, Friday night turned into Saturday and we both were checking places that one of us may have put them, to no avail. I was still bringing the subject up off and on during the day and she still denied knowing anything about them damned biscuits. By now, Duke, our little miniature weenie dog was even under consideration as being the thief. But really, a little short legged dog jumping up on the counter and eating four biscuits and leaving no plastic wrap and crumbs. We were really stretching it now because this was becoming serious.

By Sunday it wasn't brought up so often but it was still in the back of our minds, because something did happen to those four biscuits and there wasn't any logical reason. We took a ride to Port Angeles just to get out of the house and did a little grocery shopping. Two of the things we got were a dozen donuts and a German chocolate cake. By the time Sunday evening was over and it was bedtime there were five donuts left in the plastic container and they were left on the dining room table.

Helen got up on Monday, (a holiday,) morning to make coffee while I was still in bed. She came into the bedroom with the donut container in her hand. She said, "I know you probably don't want to see this but this was on the kitchen floor." She was holding an open donut container with one whole donut missing and bites taken out of two more and two untouched. She said it had to be Duke and when he heard his name he looked up at us with a guilty look so we decided that the mystery was solved even though it just wasn't logical that that little dog could get up on the table or kitchen counter. I accepted it but still found it hard to believe. My logic was that even if he could get up there he would have eaten all of the donuts.

All day I went about my daily chores and projects but in the back of my mind this thing was still haunting me. Matter of fact I was grasping for and answer so much that I even considered, for a brief moment, that we had acquired a ghost. It made damned near as much logic as the dog jumping up on the kitchen counter. I dismissed that thought real quick because in the first place I don't believe in ghosts and even so the house is only 22 years old and nothing bad has happened here! So there wasn't any reason for a ghost to be here even if there is such a thing!

Now its Monday night and Helen and Duke have gone to bed because tomorrow is a work day. I stayed up later than usual to watch a lawyer show called The Practice. It was a two parter and I had watched part one last Monday and I wanted to see the ending. Now my recliner facing the TV points toward the kitchen and imagine my surprise when this big yellow cat came busting through the doggie door in the kitchen and went straight to the spot where the donuts were laying on the floor that morning. It found no donuts and it then went into the kitchen and took a quick look and shot out the door. This all happened in about 10 seconds and I was so startled that I just sat there in amazement. I then got up and awakened Helen to tell her that the mystery has been solved. She mumbled a few words to me and I went out and finished watching my show on TV.

You probably think that was the end of story. Wrong! This morning I woke up shortly after Helen went to work hearing some strange noises. I went out into the kitchen to see if the rest of the German chocolate cake was still there and it was, but something didn't look right. You won't believe this but the half loaf of bread that was next to the cake was missing. So once again I started looking for where Helen may have put it, but it was nowhere to be found. It was just getting daylight out and as I looked out the glass sliding door I could see something white laying on the lawn near the back fence. I put on my robe and slippers and went out to investigate, and guess what I found? Well I don't know what you guessed, but it was part of that half loaf of bread. That damned cat had come back after I went to bed and drug that bread out the doggie door and lost part of it trying to get it over the fence.

I waited until Helen got to work and I called her and asked her if the bread was there when she got up this morning and she said, "No it wasn't, I just thought you put it someplace!" ISN'T THIS WHERE WE CAME IN??????????

The problem isn't resolved yet! The rougue cat is still out there and I'm sure he will hit again. I hate to remove the doggie door at night because Duke uses it at night and it would be an inconvenience for all concerned. So what can we do?

One final point: Have you ever heard of a domestic house cat that would eat baking powder biscuits, donuts and white bread? Must be a real desperate animal, don't you think?

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